there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
