i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Come see our sink grown plant.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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