I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
