i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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