The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize