..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
