he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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