Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
