Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
