I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
