Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
