God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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