Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
