They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
