A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
