is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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