Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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