brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize