Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
where are my eyebrows?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
