Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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