I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
