So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
