$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you had me at cake vodka
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
