I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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