Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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