I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
