not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My Sexting was not on an AP level
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
