The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
