Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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