Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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