I must be too annoying 4 u.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
