East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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