come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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