do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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