a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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