So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
