I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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