once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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