You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can I color on your dick again?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
