I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
