Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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