FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
