where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
