I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it because I queefed?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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