i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
