I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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