am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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