I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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