i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
