Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize