Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
