Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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