i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
