im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
