shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
