I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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