hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
