i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
