She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
