I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
