I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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